Practice is healing if you know what you're practicing and why

My ancestors started the impossible many times throughout history.

My great-grandmother, a Jew, married a German officer, during WWII. They met in Ukraine. An impossible love that cost them a life. They gave our family the gift of courage - the courage to do what's right, even when the world seems to be all wrong.

My grandma survived in an orphanage against all odds. She didn't know where she came from. All she knew was where she was headed. She taught me to never stop learning and instilled the confidence in me that I can learn anything.

My dad was the first entrepreneur in many generations of hard-working peasants who had lived on a piece of land but never owned the land. He was different. He had the ambition that none of his extended family could even fathom.

My mom was different too. As a child, she was shamed for her ambition and desire to learn. She did the impossible in her family: got a degree, became an entrepreneur, and got a driver's license in her 40s.

My parents created me so I can continue making the "impossible" real. Both of my parents and some of my ancestors changed the status quo of what life was supposed to be like.

It took me many, many years to understand what I'm writing here now.

Ancestral stories come with gifts and shadows. The gift in my family, especially on my father's side, is the ability to take action without direction and carry responsibility. The shadow is "Actions speak louder than words, so we don't say any words". As a child, I craved the words of love. I wanted intimacy, but I was taught that "words" didn't matter and that only shallow people spoke in beautiful words. They didn’t have the guts to act, so they just talked.

Of course, I fell for people who were good with words…Of course, I got disappointed countless times.

My fascination with words and language started a long time ago, when I was about 11. I wrote poetry, which was frowned upon in my family.

As an adult, I have made my choice of words a conscious practice. Action, drive, ambition, and painful clarity can absolutely coexist with deep intimacy, healthy interdependence, vulnerable self-expression, loving words, thank you cards, gentle touch, and intimate conversations.

I needed to learn to use words. I read many words that moved me, but I didn’t dare the say them out loud.

For so many years, my work has been a healing personal practice and an ambitious attempt to help people learn better with better tools so they achieve mastery, and not stagnation. Most of these tools are already in people. Meta-skills, once developed, do not vanish. It’s impossible to lose of forget them as long as you live and think, and you think about 30 thousand thoughts a day. These skills are permanent, but they require a strong commitment to daily practice.

Practice can heal. If you know what you're practicing and why, your practice is healing not only you, but your entire lineage.