Writing and editing are two separate tasks for me. I never allow my inner critic to interrupt my creative writing process.
I sit down to write, usually galvanized by an idea that has just popped into my head or is finally ready to be put into words. When I sit down to write (actually, I don’t always literally "sit down" - I might just start thumb-typing on my phone in the middle of the street), I let it all out. All my ideas, all my words, all my passion, and all my mistakes too.
becomes
becomes
You’ve been trying to lose weight for years but nothing works for you. You think you’re hopeless and you hate your body. You have tried everything but each time you give up and go back to the beginning.
Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight and your big hang-up is that you run through about three liters of ice cream each week. You’re an ice cream fiend. You’ve tried stopping through willpower. You’ve tried diets with your friends. You’ve told your partner to never ever buy ice cream again in a desperate attempt to blame them for your own shortcomings. But nothing’s worked. Not a day goes by that you don’t down about a thousand calories of creamy goodness. And you hate yourself for it.
(From Mark Manson’s blog)
Example 1:
Some people have blue eyes and beautiful long lashes. Not me. I am Asian, and my eyes are small and narrow.
Example 2:
Some people have eyes like sapphire lagoons with lashes like lace trim on ball gowns, sweeping their cheeks as they twirl. Big eyes, long lashes. Not me. I have eyes that kiss in the corners and glow like warm tea.
From " Eyes That Kiss in the Corners, the New York Times bestselling picture book by Joanna Ho"
The first example does give us an image. However, the second one gives us more than just a still image. It’s a whole experience. The author added sensory details, and we can almost feel what it’s like when these eyes look at us.She found what she had been looking for… his driver’s license. It contained just what she needed for verification — his vital statistics: Born 1901, height 5'11", weight 152 lbs., eyes brown, hair black, color black. Oh yes, skin black. Very black. So black that only a steady careful rubbing with steel wool would remove it, and as it was removed there was the glint of gold leaf and under the gold leaf the cold alabaster and deep, deep down under the cold alabaster more black only this time the black of warm loam.
Here is another example from The Unraveling by Benjamin Rosenbaum
Ve was bigger than Squell, broad-chested and square-jawed, with a mane of blood-red hair and sunset-orange skin traced all over with white squiggles.
This example is from A Dark and Starless Forest by Sarah Hollowell
Elle and Irene are twins, but not identical twins—they're both tall white girls, but there are a million little differences, like Elle’s honey-blond hair vs Irene’s dark blond, or Elle’s face, with its thick smattering of freckles, versus Irene’s face, which tends to go red more than it freckles or even tans.
What was her smile like today? Hm. beautiful? No, "warm" is the right word.
"The dessert was amazing" - no, that’s a horrible sentence! That’s not what it was! And I am not writing a boring food ad. "We ate a rich dark chocolate cake. Such a decadent after-dinner treat!" — well, that sounds a lot more like what I actually ate.